I want to go home to bed with my kitties.
These are my mantras. Or something.
I repeat these phrases, under my breath if anyone is around who doesn’t know I do this. At least I think it’s under my breath. I have at times walked out of a restroom stall to see people looking at me strangely.
My husband says they are “grounding statements,” though I understand proper grounding statements are usually more like affirmations – “I am safe.” “I can handle this.” “I am a good person.” How I ended up with mine I don’t quite know.
I do know that I mutter or say them when I am anxious. “Kittens” indicates a general level of anxiety, while “jumping” is reserved for increased levels. “I want to go home to bed with my kitties” is an all-encompassing statement of stress or dissatisfaction, and the only one that I can say nearly out loud around people with only mild looks of incomprehension.
A very few people who know me well are used to this phenomenon and even have responses. When I say, “kittens,” my friend Leslie says, “puppies,” and my husband says, “Do you like them?” When I say, “jumping,” he says, “up and down?” and my friend Robbin says, “You must really be nervous.” My husband occasionally joins me in a chorus of “I want to go home to bed with my kitties.” (The extended version is “I want to go home. I want to go to bed. I want my kitties.” The short form is “Home. Bed. Kitties.”)
I know that I use these vocalizations a lot when I have anticipatory anxiety, or after a protracted spell of having to be competent, social, and appropriate. I say them a lot in my car, or after coming home from braving the outside world. In a crowded, noisy space like a restaurant, I say them in a very matter-of-fact manner, as if I’m having a conversation with my husband.
I can accept the idea that they are non-standard grounding statements. What I know they’re not are “clang associations,” despite the fact that these can be associated with bipolar disorder. The psychotic kind. Which I do not have.
(“Clang associations” means “linking words together based on similar sounds rather than coherent meaning” – for example, clang, bang, pang, sang, singe, binge, bandage. See http://www.everydayhealth.com/bipolar-disorder/clang-associations-in-bipolar-disorder.aspx. I never say “jumping, pumping, lumping.”)
The National Mental Health Association says, “People with obsessive-compulsive disorder try to cope with anxiety by repeating words or phrases.” Fair enough. I do have a few OCD-like traits.
But to me the grounding statements explanation makes the most sense. I would argue that for me, home, bed, and kitties are all things that remind me of safety and bring me comfort. How jumping fits in, I’m not sure, except that I have hyperactive nerves and do a fair amount of it. But it certainly isn’t associated with safety or comfort. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Speaking of kitten therapy (which I was, sort of), a recent New York Times story (http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/fashion/how-a-kitten-eased-my-partners-depression.html?referrer&_r=0) was a personal account of how a kitten helped ameliorate a man’s depression.
I can testify to the truth of that. Cats or kittens have stayed up with me through bouts of insomnia, snuggled when I needed touch, purred when I needed quiet, demanded attention when I needed engagement, broken up fights when we needed distraction, and yes, even jumped when I needed amusement.
Is it any wonder that they are my touchstones, my co-therapists, my mantras?
Comments on: "I Want to Go Home to Bed With My Kitties" (5)
I’m not sure if growling “Stop it!” at myself when I find my brain re-running all the bad, anxiety provoking thoughts on non-stop rerun is a grounding statement, but it works as one for me.
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I’d count it.
BTW, did you know that Cat Cafes are now a thing in the US? There is one in Grand Rapids and a new one set to open in Ann Arbor. If there’s one near you, it might be a good branch office. 😀
I knew they were big in Japan. Dark Star Bookstore has a resident cat, Mr. Eko. (One summer when my air conditioning was out, Panera was my branch office. This was before everyone had free wifi. Even the Firestone Tire Store does now.)
Your kitties are cute!